Capturing your memories for lifetimes.

Print Yo’ Photos

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Collaborating with my clients to create heirloom artwork that they and their families will be able to pass down through generations is LIFE. Seriously. Life.

IB Art kicked off not only my study of the interplay of emotion and art through documentary photography, but the actual creation and expression of my own body of work. From there, a degree in psychology.

Print Yo’ Photos

I’ve documented my life, and by proxy, the lives of those around me since I was 16 years old, and studied emotions since I was 18.

(For those of you keeping score, that means I’ve had a camera in hand for more than half of my life.)

Enter Lifestyle Documentary

Sessions are built around celebrating and documenting who you are.

Want to do it up Black Tie? GREAT. Want to kick it and cuddle on the couch in sweats with steaming hot mugs and piles of books? FANTASTIC. Digital Nomad? YUP.

We can do that, too.

The saying that “You’ll never know the true value of a photograph until it’s gone.”, you can’t know how true that is, until you do.

Show up in photos. Take up that space. Then print them, hang them on your walls, set them on the shelves in your office.

Document your moments, because this life is not a dress rehearsal.

Let’s Talk Plan B | The Brass Tacks

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This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #LetstalkplanB #CollectiveBias #ad

#ad #letstalkplanb #khalifestylephotography #cookeatexplore #ohioblogger

The Importance of Having a Backup Plan | Let’s Talk Plan B One-Step | The Brass Tacks

I’ve always been told that I’m too loud, too ‘extra’, too blunt. Well, no, I’m just not afraid of talking about the things that can make others uncomfortable. I figure it this way. If my talking about women’s health, the “taboo” topics (which I don’t believe should be taboo at all) and being real, open, and matter of fact about all of it, if that makes it so that ONE other woman either has a question answered, or finds the courage to voice her own concerns or opinions or seek out more information, I’ll be doing backflips. So, let’s talk Plan B One-Step.

We as women run households. We run companies. We run families. We plan vacations. We absolutely understand the importance of having backup plans for the backup plans.

Whenever I’m working on a project, be it for Cook.Eat.Explore (the food and travel side of my professional life), styling a session for a client, throwing a dinner party, or traveling back to the West Coast to see family, I inherently understand the importance of having a backup plan. (Or five. Whatever. I like to be prepared for all eventualities)

So why should our birth control be any different?

Despite our best efforts, life never goes quite as we planned.

So much so, that the number of colloquial phrases summing said up seems endless. Sod’s Law. Coughlin’s Law (Nod to one of the best movies of the 80’s). Murphy’s Law. Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Life is all about how you handle your ”plan B”. Failure to plan means you plan to fail. Here’s the thing with all of that, though. While there may be a sliiiight grain of truth to those sayings, we do the best we can to ensure that we cover all of the eventualities. We make sure that we cover alllll our bases in every aspect of our lives, because let’s be real for a second, surprises are only a good thing when it comes to birthdays. And diamonds. Or maaaaaaaaaaybe vacations.

“Surprises” and “birth control” in the same thought? Nope. No thank you.

We as women have more choices and options at our fingertips now than at any point in time. We can do or be anything that we want to be, and the fact that we have a second line of defense (that we do not have to rely on anyone else to take care of) in the realm of birth control, that’s HUGE. HUGE.

No matter how careful you are (and let’s be real for a second, mistakes happen, and we don’t always make the best choices for ourselves), condoms break, pills get skipped, or even worse, someone slips something into our drink and rape occurs.

Before Plan B emergency contraception came onto the market (either with or without a prescription (and requisite visit to your doctor)), women who were not ready to be pregnant had to look at the calendar, figure out the anticipated dates for Aunt Flo’s next visit, and pray.

And wait. And pray. And wait some more.

Now? Now we have options. Now we have choices, and now, now we more than ever, are in control of our own futures. Which is all well and good (and in my opinion, as it should be), but what about the woman who’s not sure of what questions to ask? What about the woman whos drink was drugged the night before and has turned to Google prior to heading to the corner drug store?

 

#ad #letstalkplanb #khalifestylephotography #cookeatexplore #ohioblogger

That’s where I come in. If I can answer one woman’s questions, ease the mental stress even a TINY bit? Win.

There’s A TON of myths about Plan B, right? Plus, add in the whole fear of the unknown thing, and things can start getting a little overwhelming.  What does it do? When does it need to be taken? Why does it work? At what point does the efficacy drop? Most importantly, why having a backup plan in place before you could ever imagine needing it is so vitally important.

I’m here to provide a resource to anyone who is looking to learn more about what Plan B, what the process for taking it is, and where to find it.  Here’s the other thing, I’m not a doctor. (basic chemistry and I, not so much of a good match) so if you have specific questions, I’ve gotta tell you, reaching out to your doc, the pharmacist in your drug store, or to one of the resources listed at the bottom of this post, that’ll be the way to go.  I can remind you of one thing, though, Plan B One-Step does not replace regular birth control methods. It is a backup option when regular birth control failed or somehow unprotected sex happened.

Ok. So, tell me more about Plan B. What does it do? Why does it work?

Biggest myth I’ve heard tossed around about Plan B is that it’s “the abortion pill”. Nope, false. The active ingredient in Plan B is levonorgestrel, is the same ingredient in many common birth control pills – just at a higher, single dose. Plan B works mainly by delaying ovulation – it helps to prevent pregnancy BEFORE it begins. It WILL NOT affect an existing pregnancy. I will say that again for those in the back.

Plan B WILL NOT affect an existing pregnancy.

When does it need to be taken?

The short answer? The sooner the better. The sooner you take it, the better it works.  Plan B must be taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex or birth control failure.  That’s three days. Even with a three-day window, stick to the sooner the better thing. Also, as with all medicines, make sure that you take it as directed.

The sooner you get Plan B into your system, the better it will work, and real talk here (hey, I meant it when I said I’m not afraid to talk about the hard stuff.), if you’re at a point that you’re taking emergency contraception, you get that time is of the essence.

Even the worst hang over I’ve ever had, it didn’t last three days, so don’t even try and tell me that you’re too hung over after a night that you may or may not remember fully to drag yo’ hungover self outta bed and drag yourself to the store.

At what point does the efficacy drop?

At the end of 72 hours, after you either made a questionable decision, your primary birth control method failed, or the worst case scenario happened, and you’re reading this after having been raped. If that’s the case, please, PLEASE go to an urgent care clinic, an E.R., your gyno, the closest Planned Parenthood clinic, the closest police station, the closest fire station, your best friend’s house and get them to go with you, and report it. You can walk into any of those places and ask for help.  IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Oh, you just wanted the short answer? The sooner you can take it, the better, but NO LONGER than 72 hours after unprotected sex.

Where can I find it? Do I have to talk to anyone to buy it?

#ad #letstalkplanb #khalifestylephotography #cookeatexplore #ohioblogger

CVS is my drugstore of choice, so that’s where I’m going to tell you to go. That’s where I’m going to show you where to find it at, but you can find it also at CVS Caremark, Target, Walgreens, Rite Aid or Walmart, etc., and you should not have to talk to anyone if you don’t so choose.

If you’re a CVS gal like I am, Plan B is on aisle 14, (the adult care, feminine care, and family planning aisle) near the end, right about knee height.

Not near a CVS? You may have to ask the pharmacist because some stores keep it in different locations, or if you’re standing in the pharmacy, and got here via Google, ’cause you’ve looked and aren’t finding on your own, you can always ask the pharmacist and they will be able to help point you in the right direction, and answer any further questions you may have.

Click [HERE] for a coupon that’ll save you $10 off.

Hang on a sec, I want to have kids at some point down the road… will taking Plan B affect my fertility in the future?

Nope.

Am I going to have to show my ID to someone? I don’t want anyone to know I’ve taken Plan B, and I DEFINITELY don’t want my name to go on any list.

Yo’ body yo’ choice. Period.

You don’t have to tell anyone that you’ve taken it. You don’t have to tell anyone you bought it.  If you want to, awesome. If you don’t, awesome. You wanna shout it from the rooftop? You do you.

You do not need to show ID to buy Plan B. If someone tells you that you do, turn around, walk yo’ ass out of that pharmacy, and find one that respects your right to privacy. Because here’s the thing. There is no age restriction.  You do not need an ID or prescription to purchase.

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So…… I’m in my 30’s, will it still work?

Absolutely. While half of the women who use Plan B are 18-24, the other half are 25+. There is no specific “type” of women who use emergency contraception. There is no one group of women that use EC more than another. We’re all human. Mistakes happen. Birth control fails.

That’s why we have a Plan B, in all aspects of our lives, and that’s why we plan for all of those eventualities. You never know when you’re going to need plans b-z.

#LetsTalkPlanB

#khalifestylephotography #cookeatexplore #theladyh

Want to work with me? hello@khalifestylephotography.com

EXPLOITATION OF CHILDREN IS NOT ART.

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You know those nights when you go to bed early, fall asleep pretty quickly, mayyyyybe getting up to drink water or pee, but never wake all the way up, and you’re able to crawl right back into bed and fall straight back asleep?  It was that night last night.  I was loving it. Until around 3:30, when all of a sudden I’m fully awake.  Tossed around a while, gave up on it, and figured I’d start the day early. 

Between Happy Hour with Columbus Bride and Groom at  Thursday Therapy last night, and a project meeting that followed, it was late enough when I got home that other than a quick run through email, my phone was off and my computer stayed closed. 

This morning, once I’d given up on sleep, I ran through email to make sure there wasn’t anything that needed immediate attention, and opened facebook, planning a couple of minutes of rather mindless scrolling before getting started for the day.  

This is the first paragraph of the first post in my feed.

I read the words. I know the definition of each of those words. Each of them. And yet, my brain struggled as it tried to make them make sense together. It took reading just those two lines a couple of times before what was being talked about here, which is, in no uncertain terms; child pornography.  

Wait. What?

The greasy, sick, dread that flooded into my body was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I read the rest of it, and as I read,  group notifications were going off like crazy. The boudoir groups that I’m a part of, where discussion of boudoir portraiture is the norm (uh, duh, we’re boudoir photographers) were instead coming to the sick realization that a big name portrait photographer has been shooting child porn under the guise of her ‘art’.   

I now know what it looks like to have sold your soul.

READ MORE  :: Let’s talk about Meg Bitton Part One 

READ MORE :: Let’s talk about Meg Bitton Part Two

This abuser, this pedophile, (because let’s be very clear, in no way is this art, this is unequivocally child pornography) is claiming to be the victim. The statement released is tantamount to “Oh poor me. I’m really the victim here, no one understands me, blah, blah, blah, bullshit.”  Bitton’s response to all of this? 

Producing child pornography isn’t healing old wounds. It’s a federal felony.  

  • https://statelaws.findlaw.com/ohio-law/ohio-child-pornography-laws.html

WHAT YOU CAN DO


Support those that are trying to fix this issue. Share petitions that help the voice travel further online. Send those petitions out via email, text even.

Here is a brief list of places you can contact to see how you can help. There are many more resources in your area if you get savvy with google. 

• Operation Underground Railroad
• Exchange Initiative
• Thorn
• TraffickCam
• Polaris
• http://www.sacasa.org/about-saaturn/
• National Human Trafficking Resource Center 1-888-373-7888 or text “HELP” or “INFO” to 233733
• National Center on Sexual Exploitation
• National Center for Missing & Exploited Children 1-800-THE-LOST
• www.dhs.gov/blue-campaign 

WHAT I WANT TO SEE HAPPEN

If you can see on the list above there isn’t really one place that fights the kind of sex trafficking involving Social Media images, reposts, r o l e p l a y and other child fetish hashtags that contribute to the issue.

• I want Instagram to change their “community policies” and include a “sex trafficking, pedophilia, or grooming” selection in their reporting process. 
• I want the team that responds to these reports to be FULLY trained on what these individuals do and HOW THEY ACT on social media. 
• I want this team to be directly connected to the FBI and the National Human Trafficking Resource Center.

If you see something, say something. Trust your instincts as though your families lives depended on it because they just might. 

#khalifestylephotography #cookeatexplore #theladyh

HUGE thank you’s to Bre Geiger for her contributions to this article, as well as for all around being a badass.

Five Tips for Teaching Your Kid Photography

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Written & photographed by Dan Barr.

In our hectic day to day schedule, we often don’t get to spend quality time with our children. Spending time with your child over a creative activity is a fantastic way to bond with them. Photography is one such activity that you and your child will enjoy.

Five tips for teaching your kid photography

In our hectic day to day schedule, we often don’t get to spend quality time with our children. Spending time with your child over a creative activity is a fantastic way to bond with them. Photography is one such activity that you and your child will enjoy.

Learning photography will improve your child’s focus and concentration. It increases their creativity as well. It allows them to express the way they see the world. Also, your child will learn to be more physically active.

Here are a few tips to help make the experience of learning and teaching photography a joyful one for your child and for you.

  • Choosing the Camera
  • Teach the Functions
  • Get a Grip
  • Point and Shoot
  • Edit
  • Share

“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… It remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”   — Aaron Siskind

I: Choosing the Camera

The choice of camera will largely depend on your child’s age. If your child is small, it would make sense to purchase a kid’s camera. Kid’s cameras are lightweight. Children tend to drop things often. Keeping this in mind, the kid’s cameras are built sturdy to withstand accidental drops. The buttons on the camera are small and the settings are very simple. If your child a little older, you might want to consider buying them a Polaroid camera. The camera produces a hard copy of the captured shot instantly. Seeing immediate results will make your child more interested to learn photography. If your child is 10 – 12 years or older, you can consider purchasing a digital camera for them. Alternatively, you can give them your old camera if you have one. These days, even getting your kids a drone is in vogue.

II: Teaching the Camera Functions

If you have a purchased a new camera, it would be a great idea to quickly browse through the user manual. You can then explain to your child, the function of each button on the camera. Teach them to use the camera with a strap at all times, so that they can prevent the camera from falling. If the camera has a separate lens cover, teach them to put it back on at the end of every photo session. This will teach your child to be more careful with the camera.

III: Get a Grip

If the camera is large for your child’s hand, they may not find it easy to get a firm grip on it. Explain to your child, the correct technique of holding the camera. You can teach your child to use the timer setting on the camera. This will help them hold the camera steady as the shot is being captured and not put pressure on the shutter release button. If you feel your child still isn’t able to get a steady grip on the camera, you can purchase a tripod for them. This will help your child focus on clicking the photograph rather than spending in trying to adjust their grip.

IV: Point and Shoot

If your child is very young, you may not be able to teach them as many photography skills. You can, however, help them get familiar with a camera and help them build an interest in photography. If your child is older, and use a camera with slightly complex functions, you can begin with teaching them to click pictures of the same object with a different setting on the mode dial. This will help them understand the difference of which setting needs to be used in different situations. Teach your child the importance of light in photography. Explain the difference between different types of light. For example – indoor and outdoor light, direct and indirect light etc. Teach them the usage of Camera Flash. Ask them to use the Camera Flash when the ambient light is low. And they must not use the Camera flash when taking pictures of reflective surfaces such as mirror, glass or metallic surface, as this will leave the end result with a bright white spot in the picture. If you have pets at home, you must ask your child to refrain from using Camera Flash when clicking photographs of the pet as this bright light pointed towards them may cause them to feel nervous or get scared.

V: Edit

As a beginner, your child may click a lot of photographs that are otherwise fantastic barring a few distractions in the background. Or may need some corrections. It would be an excellent idea to teach them how to edit the photographs. There are many free editing software tools and mobile apps available, to correct the image or enhance it. They can be used to adjust the brightness and or the contrast of the image, or make a photograph into black and white and make only one color pop out. Learning how to edit photographs will further heighten your child’s creativity.

VI: Share

Validation and appreciation from you will work as a positive reinforcement for your child. You can upload the photographs captured by your child on your social media like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. and share them with your family and friends. When your child will get words of appreciation from people they look up to, it will encourage them to further pursue photography with more zest.

Teaching photography to your child will help them create memories for a lifetime. When your child is older they will have wonderful memories documented in the form of photographs.

#khalifestylephotography #danbarr #kidscameraguide
Must be quite the lens! 

Photography is a wonderful skill that will bring your child close to nature. It makes them more physically active. It increases their confidence, creativity and positively impacts their overall development.

You can ask your child to incorporate photography with a lot of activities they normally do. For example, if your child is playing in the backyard, you can ask them to click photographs of the trees around them or if they have finished working on a school project, they can click photographs of the project etc. This will instill a sense of accomplishment in them.

Children always have a fresh perspective on how they look at the world. Seeing the world through their innocent eyes can also help us look at things differently.

About the Author:
Dan Barr is a photographer, a parent to two girls, and the founder of KidsCameraGuide.com, a blog which is all about teaching photography to kids and kids’ cameras. You can visit Dan at his website www.kidscameraguide.com.

FIVE-TIPS-FOR-TEACHING-YOUR-KID-PHOTOGRAPHY

Photographing Natterdoodle’s Intro to Hand Lettering

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I’ve been fascinated by hand lettering for quite a while (let’s be real, most of the nation is right now, and I am A-Ok with being a part of that crowd). When the opportunity arose to photograph Natterdoodle’s Intro to Hand Lettering at The Joseph, I was all in. (BTW, the next opportunity to attend that Pen Party is August 22nd, 2018) 

#khalifestylephotography #kathrynheitkamp #asseenincolumbus #handlettering #naterdoodle #thejoseph

Photographing Natterdoodle’s Intro to Hand Lettering

I got to the Joseph with enough time ahead of the Pen Party’s start time to watch (and capture) Natalie as she prepped for the arrival of that nights attendees.  

Watching her brain work as she put together the big flip boards for the evening, it was so freakin’ cool.   I got to watch her creative process in action.  

My favorite part of the evening, however, was listening to the lesson as Natalie worked her way through it. This chick not only knows her stuff, she’s got phenomenal delivery.  (Plus, the light in The Joseph, ammmmmmazing)

Throughout, no one’s attention wavered or wandered.  Y’all aren’t here to hear me rave about Natalie, the phenom behind Naterdoodle, you’re here for the photos, so without further ado, scroll down and check ’em out! 

#khalifestylephotography #cookeatexplore #theladyh

Want to work with me? 

Email Me.
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Five Books to Read This Summer | Self Care for Creatives

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#purposepower #millenialchangemakers #khalifestylephotography Five Books to Read This Summer | Self Care for Creatives

A friend of mine asked me a very simple question earlier this summer and it knocked sideways. “What are you reading right now?”. I’m pretty sure my mouth gaped open, and I had that fish outta water thing going for me for a moment. It’s a simple question, and yet, I had let my self care slip so badly that the closest I’d come to reading a book as of late was skimming through Like Water For Chocolate and a book of Robert W. Service poems that sits next to my bed.

How the hell did I get to this point? I LOVE to read. All caps, Nat King Cole & Natalie Cole style L.O.V.E. reading, and as I racked my brain, I couldn’t remember when I last picked up a book for fun.  Well, crap.

As I’ve picked up some of my Nora Roberts favorites again, to wind down after a day focused solely on business, website servers, client proposals, meetings, studio time styling shoots, getting my camera and gear out solely for the sake of being creative, don’t forget laundry, and keeping the house clean (you know, the never ending to do list that is adulthood as well as owning a couple of business’), the question got me thinking.  What else do I want to read. What have I ordered from Amazon that I haven’t made the time to get around to reading? What does that list look like?  The more I thought about it, and tossed it around in my head, I realized that if I was tossing in reading for fun aaaaaand business, that there’s probably a whole bunch of other creatives out there who are in the same boat.

Join me this summer, let’s read together, apart.

[[A quick note (ahem*fine print*ahem) the Amazon links below are affiliate links. What that means to you is this | I’ll receive a small commission should you choose to purchase through them. There is no additionally cost to you, in any way. Questions? Hit me up. I’m happy to answer them, or, click HERE for our terms and conditions]]

The Millennial’s Guide To Changing The World

Allison Lea Sher’s number one Amazon seller Millennial’s Guide To Changing The World crossed my desk when I was reviewing it through Brand Backer, and there was SOOOO much awesome in it, that while I’m exactly a millennial, I’m a HUGE advocate for anyone, at any stage in life picking this one up.

Alison Lea Sher’s Millennials Guide to Changing the World will lead a generation in doing just that. Reading her words is like having a conversation with your big sister over a cup of coffee in your favorite coffee shop. She tackles hard issues head on, with compassion, wit, and humor.

If you yourself are a millennial, you know someone who is, or if you have children of your own, this is a must read.

Blogging Brilliantly for Your Business

I first heard Christine Tremoulet a couple WPPI’s ago, when I sat in on her class, and y’all. MINDBLOWING. In the  change the way you think about doing business and life and what not. She’s a force of nature, in the best way, and oh man does she know her stuff.

 I’ve read her book multiple times, and like all other books that I go back to time and again, I get something different out of it. This summer, as I delve deeeeeeply into teaching my intern, Colby, how to start his brand (and blog) from the ground up, I know that I’ll be approaching Christine’s book with a perspective that I have not before, and I’m real stoked.

Join Her Facebook Group [HERE]

Let It Out, A Journey Through Journaling

According to my mom, I’ve been keeping a journal since loooooong before I could write. When I’d get into trouble for whatever it was that I’d done to deserve being sent to my room, she’d poke her head in the door and there I’d be, scribbling away furiously in whatever journal I was using at that point in time.  I’ve kept journals consistently through out my life, once one is filled, it goes into a big plastic storage tote that to this day, lives at my mom’s house.

 I met and photographed author Katie Dalebout when she was a part of The Wine & Shine’s first annual live podcast event at The Wonder Jam, and like with Christine, this chick is passionate, and big time inspiring.

I bought her book on the spot, and with that whole not making time to read for myself thing, have yet to pick it up and dive into it. Hence it’s place on my summer reading list.  The sections that I’ve read through however, have been hugely motivating in the inspirational way, and I’m jazzed to kick back with a frosty something or other and get reading.

Faster Than Normal

A friend of mine, who is also a photographer & creative (and fellow ADHD gal), sent me the link to a list of gift ideas for those of us who deal with our brains working faster than our bodies can keep up with, and while I’ve lost the link itself, I did order Peter Shankman’s book on the spot.

The absolute importance of self care has been brought into sharp relief as of late, and for me, that means reading Shankman’s book.

Sooner rather than later.

Light is The New Black

This one speaks for itself. If you’re meant to read it, you will.

 

#khalifestylephotography #cookeatexplore #theladyh

Want to work with me? Hello@khalifestylephotography.com

 

The Second Annual Live Pod Cast Event | The Wine & Shine Podcast

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WINE-AND-SHINE-LIT-LIFE-YOGA

THE SECOND ANNUAL LIVE POD CAST EVENT | THE WINE & SHINE PODCAST AT LIT+LIFE YOGA

#wineandshinepodcast #juliewojno #ashleyrector #harnessmagazine #litlifeyoga #shortandstoutbar #columbusohio #womensupportingwomen #blogandbizbabes #khalifestylephotography

I met Liz and Nina, the duo behind the Wine & Shine Podcast, last year, when we teamed up to create a lifestyle branding photography for the podcast, and I subsequently became the Wine & Shine’s photographer.

These two women y’all, they’re seriously kick ass. They’re passionate about what they do, passionate about supporting and lifting up other women (something that is SERIOUSLY lacking in todays world), and all around passionate about life.

Last year they hosted their first ever live podcast event, at Allie and Adam Lehman’s Wonder Jam, with guests Katie Dalebout, Taylor Riggs, and Simi Biotic (legit, the energy that these babes bring together is phenomenal).  This year, the Second Annual Wine & Shine Live Podcast was held at Lit+Life Yoga, and featured Ashley Rector, the founder of Harness Magazine, and the powerhouse health coach that is Julie Wojno.

The light, and energy, and good jujus that filled the Lit+Life that night, real kick ass, and real fun to photograph.

Short and Stout, Columbus’ favorite mobile bar, kept the wine flowing in the cool evening air, and the light that night? It was perfect.

#wineandshinepodcast #juliewojno #ashleyrector #harnessmagazine #litlifeyoga #shortandstoutbar #columbusohio #womensupportingwomen

Want to work with me? Hello@khalifestylephotography.com

 

 

I’m Kate | Let Me Introduce Myself

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I'm_kate

So here’s the thing. I’ve been putting a lot of thought into how I wanted to write this. How to start writing this. And I kept getting stuck.

Everything felt wrong and forced and fake. And tonight, I figured it out. I was trying to figure out a way to ease into it, smooth the road, and all that.

Here’s the thing though, that’s bullshit, on evvvvvery level. I’ve spent far too much of my life trying to be less of myself so that others would be happy, and I’m real done with that.

Imma be real open (read=vulnerable) and realllllllllly real with all this. I grew up in Oregon, and traveled all throughout the West (which means anything rest of the Rockies, and the state of Montana, should there be any inquiring minds.), and while I have friends scattered across the country, and globe, my family pretty firmly planted between California, Oregon, and Washington state.

Jeff and I made the decision to move away from Portland together, and I was ecstatic to be moving closer to my nieces and nephews, to actually get to be involved in all of life, not just an aunt that shows up at holidays bearing gifts. Scared (because duh, I moved to a state in which I only knew a handful of people) but excited to see what the world had in store for us across the country.  Know the saying “If you want to make God laugh, tell him  your plans?” Real true.

I did everything that I was supposed to do, and not only did it not work, I lost myself in the process.

We did move across the country, and yup, closer to family. I was excruciatingly careful to not post anything on Facebook, here through k .H.a. Lifestyle Photography, or on Cook.Eat.Explore, that could be seen as “too much”, “too out there”, “too polarizing.” Didn’t matter if it was something that I’m passionate about (for the record, I’m 100% pro-choice. What a woman chooses to do with her body, that’s her business. Not yours.  I think that states who have legalized the use of recreational thc are genius (don’t believe me, or think otherwise? Check out the tax revenue that those states have been pulling in, hand over fist, which fixes roads. And fund schools. I think that Trump is Hitler reincarnate. (We are on a dangerously similar path to that of Hitlers Germany), but see, I had to tamp all of that down. Because it might be too much. I might offend someone. A potential client may not hire me, because I’m outspoken about what I believe in, but worst of all, what if family saw it, what would they think?  (It’s amazing what you can make yourself ok with. Until you can’t.)

I did everything that I was supposed to do, and not only did it not work (that’s a conversation that will only ever be had in the inky darkness of the other side of midnight, soaked in bourbon) I lost myself. I stopped being me to try and make everyone else happy. Well, guess what. The family that we moved out here to be closer to? The mask finally slipped free, and it always does, the truth came out.

My “sins” had been roundly counted,  listed, and apparently broadly discussed amongst everyone in the family, save my husband or myself, anyways. It didn’t matter that I’d been doing EVERYTHING I could to try and fit in. It happened anyhow. I stood up for myself. (You can guess how well that went over).

After WPPI this year, I drove through the Sonoran Desert to  Phoenix to spend time with friends, and we ended up driving over the Superstition Mountains, on a historic stretch of road that is real high up the list of the most dangerous roads in the world (totally by accident), which also traverses land that is considered to be cursed by both the Apache and Navajo tribes (the blood that had been spilled there so long ago stained the earth in the truest of senses), under a full moon.  Whoops.

Randall, I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll be saying it until I draw my last breath. I have such HUGE respect for how cool and composed you were behind the wheel that night. Driving over those mountains that night, my life (and his own, and that of his husband) were absolutely in Randall’s hands.  The right side of the car, sheer rock face, straight up. The left side of the car, straight down.

Had his grip on the wheel slipped once, had his attention faltered, at all, that would have been it for the three of us. Curtains. Swan song time.

It was only after we’d (finally) got into our room that night out at Apache Lake, that the adrenaline coursing through our bodies finally began to abate that we were able to process the prior four hours, stretch out and get some VERY needed rack time.

Gut check time.

The next night, watching we had the Oscars on when we got back from dinner, and  Keala Settle performed This Is Me on the Oscars, (I still haven’t seen The Greatest Showman) and it was like a dam burst open inside of me.

I am never tamping myself down in that way to try to be accepted again. This is it. This is me. Flaws, faults, and all.

THIS-IS-ME

What makes me, me.

Aside from 33 trips around the sun? My passionate love affair with a really good manicure, massage, or night out laughing with friends. I’m killlller in the kitchen, and when I offer to cook for you, I really mean it. Bear in mind that dinner in our home is rarely served before 9:30. HOWEVER, there will not only be good wine flowing, there will be multiple appetizer platters put in front of you, bites of whatever I’m cooking offered for tasting along the way, and more likely than not, a big ass box of Goldfish crackers in the pantry. Because I apparently have the same taste in snacks as most two-year-olds.

I am blunt. Friendly. Funny. Loyal to a fault (again, of which there are many). I play the piano. I am a shoulder to lean on when the world gets too heavy. I’m a sanctuary for my loved ones. My blue eyes will pin you to the wall, and I will know without question if you’re lying to me. I make a hell of a cocktail. If you tell me you can hang, I’ll believe you. I’m not your mother or your priest. Music pumps out of the speakers in my car and in my home. All of the time. I’m a night owl.  I’m an old soul. I’m passionate, I’m caring, I’m compassionate. I swear like a sailor on a five-day bender.  I can be too impulsive and I don’t have a huge amount of patience. I very firmly believe that sexuality is powerful and that confidence is sexy. I know what it means to have your heart broken and your hopes dashed. I’ve traveled the world. I’ve held back other women’s hair, and I’ve had my own held back. I believe in destiny and karma and I own more than one tarot deck. I’m loud, and I have zero tolerance for bullshit.

I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I am a damn fine shot of whiskey.

Want to work with me? hello@khalifestylephotography.com